ThirdBunk

can't imagine

2012-02-02T11:23:00.000-08:00

i can't think of anything
better
than just sitting here, beer in hand,
watching you strip your clothing off.

the tv's blaring something
stupid in the background
and all around us birds make nests.
on top of the building
some worker is laying tar
or perhaps dancing to music only he's aware of.
i can't hear anything other than
the soft puffing of your breath
and whether or not kacey just got an x or an o
and everything's really
coming down on us now,
coming down on us now,
moving faster and faster
as your clothes fall to the floor
and my cock fills with blood
and my skin sets itself on fire...

on fire without flames.

not really feeling that

2012-02-01T21:47:00.000-08:00

i'm not really feeling that
this whiny man
saying whiny things
into a microphone
i don't care
what
he has to say
because i have too much
of my own to say
and i wish he'd stay away

this buzzing noise gets louder
in the bedroom or the hall
and soon enough i won't hear
much of anything at all

tomorrow i'll probably get up
go get a greasy breakfast
take a shit or two
waste another day
hopefully find something inside myself
worth holding on to
and laugh
laugh hard and long
and miss her like fucking crazy

don't whine at me
i'm too old for you
i have too much to say
too much to do
and sleep in which
to dream
to dream
to dream

last

2012-01-29T13:48:00.001-08:00

you are last in line in the checkout. i'm checking you out, baby. what an ass. i'm going to follow you home from the grocery store and when you reach your apartment door i'll offer a hand. i'll guide you inside and slap you around and then take roughly what you'd never give me by choice.

chives

2012-01-29T13:47:00.000-08:00

in the garden where we spent
our mornings,
the princess tree abandoned,
the squirrels searching
for our dancing shadows,
i sit.
i watch for the sun
to make you known again,
knowing you are gone away again,
and all around me
smiling happy men
will sing.

corrosive

2012-01-29T13:46:00.001-08:00

the lead was burned through, the lead
was burned through and when
you learned who loved you
you died alone

alfie

2012-01-29T13:45:00.002-08:00

he never liked you
and when he hurt you
he meant it
he meant the cherries
and the gold blossoms
fell down on his face
as he watched for
night skies

jane doe

2012-01-29T13:45:00.000-08:00

in the morning
her body was gone,
the space where it had spent
the hours covered
by blown leaves.

fucking

2012-01-27T18:31:00.000-08:00

i used to think you would
fuck someone
just to get them to play on your baseball team.
but the worst thing you did
was let me go when you hid from
the wolves in the cupboard,
bats in the kitchen,
dogs in the very front row.

belief

2012-01-27T17:53:00.000-08:00

i don't believe a word you're saying, is what i'm thinking. i'm watching you pour scotch down your burning throat and laugh out lies about your sister and the things she'll do if someone gives her enough coke, but what i'm remembering is what a fuckup you are. you have no money and you live in a shitty apartment over a diner on 33rd street. the breakfasts are good and your bathroom always smells like hashbrowns, but you haven't had a serious relationship in six years and you're going gray. and so i listen to you lie about megan and watch the boats outside and note the beautiful redhead that just walked in. i signal to the waiter for our check.

catherine

2012-01-27T16:49:00.000-08:00

back in the day she was named jellypants, but we knew it was catherine. and when we had her over for sex parties. she would fuck all us dudes and suck us off too. it was great. we would gather in basements at different houses every other weekend and there were fart parties, gay parties, the whole world was watching. on the televisions they were talking about space invaders and people dying in foreign countries and everyone was wondering when things would completely fall apart. there was no money anymore. all we had was wine. pour one around, we'd say, laughing.

birds in the morning

2012-01-25T16:34:00.000-08:00

birds make me happy
the cats chatter at them birds make me happy the cats chatter at them
i can't get the birds to stop that chattering
i do what i can to get the dishes done
but fucking birds in the birdbath drive a man insane
would you come with me to the old barn out back
my dead dear darling
would you please try to stop the birds
stop them please

doe

2012-01-25T16:20:00.000-08:00

she doesn't know why i'm here at the cabin again. she never cared, so why would she bother to try to figure it out? i have no real reason to be here other than the fact that i'm trying to rape her when she's least suspecting it. she's a whore. she's hot, and stupid, and she's a total whore. she fucked my brother. she drugged my father and stole his favorite books. i'm going to slap her across the face, without mercy, i'm going to knock her teeth out and i'm going to rape her, dry rape, painful and sure. she'll never cross me again.

basket

2012-01-25T16:06:00.001-08:00

i pick cherries,
i put em in the basket,
put em in the basket,
i pick cherries,
i put em in the basket,
here comes sunday morning.

excitement!

2012-01-25T15:55:00.001-08:00

oustide, bombs. or it sounds like them. perhaps just artillery fire. perhaps the kids up the street with firecrackers, old black cats they found in their basement. i'm in bed, and it's still dark out, and i'll be damned if i'm getting out and padding around this lonely, empty apartment. i fart quietly, as if to hush some god, and suddenly there's a loud blast from out on the street, followed by the dying laughter of young children. or is it the young laughter of dying children? either one is fine with me. i reach for the wine bottle on the desk, take a nice belt, and fall senselessly back into my pillows.

run to the bank

2012-01-25T15:49:00.000-08:00

go to the bank and take your weapons. i'll follow you in the car. walk slowly along the street. run up alleyways. stroke yourself as you make your way. it's exciting to get blown in dark alleys. it's exciting to murder old people. it's exciting to spend stolen money on video game consoles and crack cocaine. it's exciting to live.

senses

2012-01-25T15:31:00.000-08:00

in the dark room i sit waiting for you. i know you're not coming, but i have nothing else to do. i drink some wine and pop some pills and stroke my aching head. if i had the strength to do it i'd crawl to my bed. the cats outside are crying but they're not mine so fuck them. i have no patience for anything that requires my energy or attention. all i can do is sit, and stare, and wait, and know that you're dead. i buried you. i need to run, to hide, to stay inside, because they'll find you, the sisters and the raccoons and the telephone will start to ring and i'll be caught. it can't end like this. it just can't.

alligator

2012-01-25T15:05:00.001-08:00

would you have someone waiting behind you too often? i wanted to ask her this but realized it made no sense. how come when i feel like writing and sit down at the keyboard all i can emit is crap? it's senseless and makes me want to drink wine in copious amounts and then watch bad television. and fart on cue. i can do it, you know.

back again

2012-01-24T21:10:00.000-08:00

i've died so many times i can't remember when i was born and i wish you were right here so you could point the right way home. beyond the empty roads you sit. i read your novels and short stories, written on trees and on old bridges. they're all about us, and how we met, and how we lived, and when we died. and i miss you.

snow falls

2012-01-24T20:56:00.000-08:00

i went back home when i thought i had none. in the end of everything i saw my own beginning. she was dead. i saw her grave. i felt her hands around my throat at midnight, when i slept a thin sleep layered with dirty dreams. i wished i was dying too, slowly, my own words eating me, gnawing on me, tearing me apart. i saw you at the other side of the covered bridge. you were laughing and choking and catching the falling snow. you were some strange vision i never should have seen.

so the words

2012-01-24T20:32:00.000-08:00

they definitely left me that night. she had just come, repeatedly, and she was sitting there in the chair, staring at nothing but sort of to the left of me. every few seconds i caught her eye but looked away quickly. i knew she didn't care for me. i knew she just wanted heroin and the random fuck. i was too busy trying to make something happen with poor poetry and a stab at a screenplay. the guy i'd killed last night in the bar would never make a sound. my mother raped me. did you find that steak in the field? it's not a dinner yet. it's like a small kitten would sound when touched. in the bottom of the urinal you find peace. when your family dies it is like heaven in the world. when fire escapes from your blistered mouth we will drown. she saw me and said 'did you come?' and i couldn't answer her.

most likely

2012-01-24T20:25:00.001-08:00

it's fun not
to make sense
to burn your lips
on other men
to drink the sea
and open please
take all of this
away

stupid ugly monkeys

2012-01-24T20:24:00.000-08:00

how offensive can retarded nigger lepers be? only if they assrape 12 year old girls could they be more offensive. stop saying things that harm others. stupid ugly monkeys. i'll find your father and slash his scrotum with a broken beer bottle. all the bees have pretty knees. all the wasps take off take off. drink me up and fill my stomach.

later in the night you will be visited by gay men. they are gay because they suck each others' cocks.

boring

2012-01-23T21:33:00.001-08:00

i sit around
and i am boring.
and wet walls fall apart,
and boring into
my own flesh
your needles find
the deepest veins.

death found me

2012-01-23T21:32:00.001-08:00

shriveled and dry, death found me.
worms crawling lonesome over
wet sidewalks,
death found me.
and then you, with all your
stupid silly laughter,
unwound me.
and we pray.
and we say
nothing will take us
away.

obscurity

2012-01-23T21:31:00.001-08:00

thy name is you, and when you bend to suck on me i bend to worship you. i can't be dumb until i know you're smarter than the average one. and then i can get stupid til it makes me happy. silly me, i watch over oceans until they fall apart.

it's wrong

2012-01-23T12:07:00.000-08:00

it's wrong to kidnap them when their parents aren't watching. it's wrong to put a sack over their heads and kick them, mercilessly, laughing when they scream and cry. it's wrong to toss them down the stairs into your basement. it's wrong to throw them scraps of rotting meat when they beg for food after three days. it's wrong to ridicule them when they ask why you're doing this. it's wrong to slice their thin arms open and get excited when they bleed. all of these and more are wrong, but when you need the money, it doesn't matter what's wrong. it matters how you get by.

rain

2012-01-23T10:29:00.000-08:00

in the end he had nothing but her,
and he was left wanting.
and so down by the ocean
where the rain flooded gates open,
you will see them.

he will be stumbling drunk
through open water.
she will be watching him,
unaffected,
smiling,
sad.
they will stare at the sky separately;
they will die alone.

the waves will come,
huge and thundering,
and wash them away to a distant shore,
and the sun will shine down endlessly,
without comment.

why

2012-01-20T19:13:00.000-08:00

why shouldn't we drink wine all day and lay about in a state of unconscious wanting? desire is nothing but needing what we can't buy. i desire fucking and sex. i desire complete bliss. i desire chocolate cake and sushi and i desire idiots in charge. i desire a gun and i desire the ocean in my front yard and i desire you. but i can't have it all at once so i fall limply back, sad, alone, defeated.

drink

2012-01-20T17:59:00.000-08:00

bring me a drink,
i said,
i need some water
or maybe some vodka.
i don't care how sweet your flower is,
it doesn't need to be watered
like i do.

mom

2012-01-20T15:20:00.000-08:00

i suppose she was beautiful, but i had no idea since i wasn't paying attention to that back then. all i wanted to make sure of was that i wasn't being watched and that nothing was being thrown at me. she had a succession of men after my dad moved out, but that doesn't mean anything. perhaps those men just had poor taste. she smoked vantage cigarettes. she never drank- unless she hid it very well- until my stepfather moved in. it's like alcohol was the key needed to unlock the truly ugly, poisonous parts of herself, as well as to lock far away those parts that needed the most love and affection. she is a wasted case now, withered, dying, alone.

my poetry is dead

2012-01-20T14:28:00.001-08:00

rumi sits somewhere
near the crystals and the cards
and all the supplements
laughing
he laughs and she laughs and they laugh and
we laugh
and i don't give a fuck
i'm not judged i will drink during
the day
i will die daily over and over
i will wait until fortunes turn
and my death is in
the waiting
while somewhere
far far far away
you walk towards the sea
you leave towards the sea

in the downtime

2012-01-19T01:42:00.000-08:00

you will never grab those twisting branches
if you do not first reach out
never pull the cities toward you
never start a fire
in your heart
if in the downtime
you do not start

a good way to feel

2012-01-18T22:53:00.001-08:00

i stared at her. 'let's just say i wish i had some, but i don't need it. i definitely don't need it.' i reached out and put my hand on her arm. her eyes seemed like they wanted to pull away but her skin grew warm beneath my touch.

bed time

2012-01-18T22:07:00.001-08:00

at night sometimes i can't sleep, i have songs competing in my head. if there's a song that's been in my head recently that's really annoying but i've temporarily kicked it out, my mind will scurry like a spider over a web looking for the hook, putting it back into my head, killing me. then i'm there with one dance song and one rock song and one song by aphex twin all trying to play at the same time while nina fidgets on the pillow because I'M fidgeting and i have to get up to pee multiple times and outside, the rain falls gently down.

free and easy

2012-01-18T20:42:00.000-08:00

back on the hard streets. you can't find the time. you won't let anyone know who you're with. it's not easy to be free, and it's not free if you're easy. but eventually you'll see that someone- the one who loves you completely and so amazingly and makes you want to love again. be free. be easy. let all things come. put away the knife. buy a car. find a bed and breakfast in the northern state that has fireplaces in every room. relax. it will come.

La Mer

2012-01-18T10:03:00.001-08:00

only if you love me first

2012-01-16T21:28:00.000-08:00

i don't care
what you say
i think you are
fucking gay
i can quench your
fucking thirst
only if you
love me first

l;io

2012-01-16T21:26:00.001-08:00

i wante
d you and you may take some thin
g but you 723
can

fuck you

dream

2012-01-16T21:14:00.001-08:00

i can do much better
than you

mate

2012-01-16T21:01:00.001-08:00

can i please
take you
bury you
somewhere deep
where you won't
speak

the movement

2012-01-16T18:46:00.001-08:00

so i don't expect you to respond,
but did you have the same dream i did
where i apologized to you
for not calling you back?
you were drunk
and selling sandals
and somebody got bombed.

i got your message
and heard it all.
things have been beautiful and stupid.
i hope you're well.

u r truely blessed!

2012-01-16T18:42:00.001-08:00

fuck all of you whores who karmically are aligned because karma is bullshit anyway and i wish you had shoved a shotgun up that diseased and dying whore cunt of yours anyway because i wish you had not taken my baby away from the world and in fact i could have taught that girl how to make the best chicken and that boy how to play baseball and i would have wished the worst upon you in fact i would have loved you to death i would have taken your veins and opened them and loved you my god

main

2012-01-16T18:37:00.001-08:00

again the last night i was out
i found you there
in the end
i found you there
and i wasn't something you wanted
and we weren't something we
thought would happen
so we happened anyway
and in the

end

we found our way to be friends

geet

2012-01-16T18:14:00.001-08:00

*

and i

wait

and i

seek

and i

will not take anything you never wanted to give me anyway

i will not leave my own loves
unloved

i see

2012-01-16T18:08:00.001-08:00

i see you can't
make
take
bake
shit with your
dumb old ass
while off in the hills
raccoons eat
your offal

didn't ask

2012-01-13T13:28:00.000-08:00

some asshole was saying how life is a privilege and how there's only a one in a bazillion (i'm rounding off here) chance we get shot out of one cannon and then out another into the light. but to put up with all this horseshit about money and rent and feeding ourselves and babies in dumpsters and entire countries starving: i didn't ASK for this fucking privilege, you cocksucker. i don't recall waiting around with my other soul-friends saying 'shit, jimmy, i hope i'm next, it must be so great being alive!' so take your bullshit views and shove them straight up your ass. it's a privilege to be able to tell you that, i suppose. and i wonder how jimmy is.

drive

2012-01-13T12:54:00.000-08:00

on the drive at night back from the office i would always see the same ford fusion, covered with bumper stickers from every football team. the driver was this fat mexican looking guy with a droopy mustache and stringy hair. he was always singing along to some song i couldn't hear. every night, 530 pm, the same stretch of freeway and there we were. i never saw him look at me, notice me, nothing. but i sure saw him. one day after i got home from a particularly difficult day i beat my wife because she mentioned something about my drinking. she had to wear sunglasses for a few days even when it rained. good girl. i wondered if the fat mexican who loved football had a wife, and if he ever beat her.

oven

2012-01-13T12:09:00.000-08:00

throw that shit in the oven, he yelled,
like the fornicators who,
without malice,
watch over us.
and when it is nice,
and done,
and pink inside,
like the walls of the woman
who shoved me shouting
into a stranger's hands,
i will burn.

blood on the wall

2012-01-13T11:30:00.000-08:00

months before the abortion, she'd had her period. they'd just started dating. she'd smeared a little on the wall near the bathroom. was it on purpose? was it fate? did she know what it would lead to? after she was gone from his life he'd scrubbed and polished and couldn't quite get it out and thought that perhaps a bit of bad energy was still trapped in his home. he would buy some white paint.

scissors

2012-01-13T11:17:00.001-08:00

the scissors were pointed
directly at the center
of his heart

cats

2012-01-13T10:36:00.000-08:00

too many cats, he thought, but it was mostly the drugs he'd taken. they were smiling and laughing and some were bouncing on the bed and others were in the fireplace or scurrying across the ceiling as if they'd suddenly developed sucker pods on their feet. one particularly lovely russian blue walked regally up to his pillow and stared him in the eye. 'you are too old for this world, my friend,' the blue said conversationally, 'yet too young to simply vanish. put away the pills, give the gun to a homeless man, and stop thinking about the rope.' the cat then meowed plaintively and jumped off the bed to chase a stuffed mouse.

drinks

2012-01-13T10:27:00.000-08:00

i stopped for drinks at the corner and she was there, slumped against the doorway, drunk as usual. she was in this old baggy dress and had way too much lipstick. her eyeliner had run and she looked like she was strung out on heroin. she saw me but didn't really see me as i walked up towards her. off in the hills i could hear another siren. friday night, someone fired off a shot, someone got rid of one problem and asked for another as the sun set into the ocean.

old mate

2012-01-13T10:06:00.000-08:00

he was dead, and everyone was sad. i hadn't seen him in 20 years or so, but i'd recently declined an invite from him. an impersonal invite, via email, but i just disregarded it. and now he was dead. too many pills, someone said, and the well wishes and sadness poured out on the forums dedicated to his memory. all i remembered of him was a complete drunken asshole who treated everyone like shit. i would be careful not to mention that to the members of his family.

that's a nice year

2012-01-12T17:46:00.000-08:00

that's a nice medoc, she said, slipping into the kitchen. the party shouted out in the other rooms but somehow, at the moment, we were the only two cruising the wine bottles. she was full and beautiful in this dress of hers, really saying hello. her body was a testament to god. i was sort of fat but happy, and my hair looked good that night. plus i'd had some good readings lately and the money was flowing a bit. nothing like a full wallet to get a woman into bed. nothing like a good personality, a funny word or two and a great smile to keep them there.

silly billy

2012-01-12T17:40:00.000-08:00

when we would gather for dinner, i would normally head straight for the wine. i learned to go for the cheap stuff first and build up to the high end grape. utilize the grape, they said, trolling the river, yelling for fish. my wife (at the time) would have half an eye on me and this is part of the reason why we are divorced. i don't take to people watching me. i don't take to people making me their problem, or making their problems mine. in fact, i don't take to a whole lot of shit that doesn't have to do with me writing, watching the rain fall, or having a nice orgasm. what's the point in pain?

king arthur is just a click away

2012-01-12T17:20:00.000-08:00

she'd spilled the wine again, stupid cunt. i was the one who was supposed to drink it, and now i was the one who would have to clean it up. i had told her to be careful. i suppose i didn't hit her enough. she'd asked for casserole for dinner, but i wanted burgers. i never got what i wanted, ever, really, except in bed, and even then i had to hit her for it. she would learn someday, though. all women learned eventually. sometimes when they figured it out they were staring at the inside of a coffin lid. but that was soon enough.

a butt

2012-01-12T17:16:00.000-08:00

i have a butt
you have a butt
what if all animals
didn't have butts
but what if we had
acorns and nuts
and all dogs were mutts
and women were sluts
and men in the moon
called my father a putz
i don't know if i
can live in a world
where hair should be straight
but instead hair is curled
i don't like bananas
or hot dogs or fries
and i'm really disgusted
by all of your lies

mirna

2012-01-12T17:06:00.000-08:00

i wanted to take many photos of mirna, because she was stunning, beautiful, like some romantic painting come to life, walking around and buying sexy bras and complaining about idiots and niggers. but mirna had this thing where she was afraid i would draw tiny mustaches on all of the photos. she knew i liked to add a fatal flaw to all of my work, and she knew, beautiful as i found her, i might do the same to her, and though no one would see the photos save for me when i masturbated to them, she felt a small hitler mustache, or a big fluffy cowboy mustaches, or any mustache at all, just wouldn't do her justice. she felt it was simply wrong. she was out for burgers, walking the dog up to irv's on the corner, when i found her box full of letters. all of them were signed 'el guapo, el guapo, with love, el guapo.'

six inches

2012-01-12T16:40:00.000-08:00

the conversation was over. it had gone how i'd wanted it, so that was fine. i hadn't felt like digging too deeply to bury her after i smacked her in the head with the baseball bat i kept next to the fireplace, so i only dug down six inches, dumped her in, and pulled dirt over her in a mound. the raccoons will find her soon enough and anyway, people will ask questions. but i've got the key to her car and i'm not sticking around to answer them. next time keep your fucking opinions to yourself.

alright

2012-01-12T13:24:00.001-08:00

alright, i said, i suppose whenever you're ready we can get this bullshit over with. i'll be on the sofa.

bones

2012-01-10T14:55:00.000-08:00

what if you found them wrapped in cloth under the stairs? this old house your dad just bought in some backwoods town. wasps in the shed and hornets' nests like old footballs up under the eaves. harold told me how to jack off. his dad fell over in the back yard. he wanted to die. we wrapped his bones up in cloth and shoved them under the stairs. what would you do if you found them?

stains

2012-01-10T14:45:00.000-08:00

he had these weird stains on his pants. she hadn't been over in a couple weeks and so he'd mostly been sitting up in bed masturbating. the television was on, something on the nature channel. he felt bad. he didn't like how things had ended up. the kitchen window was cracked, and birds outside chattered endlessly. church bells rung hollowly from afar.

fragility

2012-01-10T10:14:00.000-08:00

he'd heard the news early in the morning, an old friend had died. shock, a few tears, mostly a stubborn numbness that wasn't like being drunk. he knew later on he'd be very thankful for the fact that he was still alive and had never taken all those pills like he'd considered, many times. he had too much beauty in his life. the friend had been only forty five years old. he thought what it would be like to only have five years left. he looked at his beautiful cat, stretched out soft and asleep in a slant of sunlight. he thought of his woman, far away but still close. he thought of his writing, and knew that things were good no matter how sad and alone he could sometimes feel. he would go on. he would continue to write and laugh and play the door game with his cats. he would shower and walk the neighborhood and make pasta sauce and not get too angry at his roommate for not cleaning all the time. things were too fragile for such petty nonsense.

had a dude

2012-01-09T20:53:00.000-08:00

9 years old, best friend named mark, we used to stroke each other's young undeveloped egos by playing star wars. i was always at the bottom of the trash compactor. i was much better looking than mark but he had a girlfriend first. her name was michelle. i remember when we went roller skating (a large group of us), i made a disparaging remark about libby, who we all thought was rather full of herself. michelle laughed but mark kissed her first. mark had an atari 2600 before i did. he showed me this spiderman game the night of his mother's wake. it was snowing like crazy that night. my stepfather, bill, almost killed my mom, sister and me on the way to mark's house. bill had drunk a lot of cheap vodka before we'd left. some shit brand, supermarket quality. he might have been scared that he'd lose his wife- my mother- in the same way mark's dad had, or he might have been trying to deny the sexual abuse he'd endured at the hands of his father. alcohol can play funny tricks. i never knew, because all bill did was scowl at me and yell if i looked through his porn magazines. he wore cheap cologne and had very curly hair. if he ever laughed it seemed forced, like someone in some chair way up high was pushing a button to elicit the response. i never really loved him but i suppose i tolerated him. he hit me sometimes, but i guess that's what he needed to do. i don't really give a shit why anymore. who cares?

ang

2012-01-09T20:23:00.000-08:00

she was this girl who lived next to me. i was eight, she was six, she had this long brown hair and a weird face that would probably be considered attractive later in life. in the first grade she looked ugly and chinese. it was ok. we would meet after school and play hide and seek and kickball. her parents were rarely home so we would go through their bedroom drawers and look at her dad's porno magazines. i never touched her but i think she wanted me to. ang dawes. a good person. good at spelling. our teacher gave her stars on all her papers.

go!

2012-01-09T20:16:00.000-08:00

go! said god. fuck you, i said, i was sitting naked in bed with this fat thing in front of me and no one to take care of it. i didn't feel like getting up to piss. i didn't feel like doing much of anything, and there was a bottle of bourbon someone had given me as a gift right next to the bed. i reached out to pull down another hit and found a pen. i wrote some words that maybe someone would someday want to read. it was a poem.

i can't find
real words
to make my mind
love you enough
to bring you back

i thought it was shit. but people eat, read, and fart out shit. someone somewhere would love it. i felt the day was a success.

patterns

2012-01-09T15:09:00.000-08:00

are you fucking kidding? he thought. you talk about circles and cycles and patterns and things, and what i immediately think of is a cat, vomiting its innards up onto a beautiful throw rug. and not just vomiting wet cat food but blood, feces, shit, guts, everything. all the things inside that it's been holding on to, just purging it out, fucking throwing up all over your stupid patterns. get a life, you dirty hippie.

car

2012-01-05T18:43:00.001-08:00

in the car he used to touch her. she'd sit on his lap in the backseat and while her parents were oblivious in the front he'd reach down her care bear panties and rub her pink bare pussy. her body would react though she didn't know what it meant. the car sped past apple orchards and old burned out barns. crows flapped overhead in search of aluminum.

when you're alone

2012-01-05T17:53:00.000-08:00

sometimes at night you want to get that knife out and think that maybe what you can do with it will be better than what you can do without. perhaps sliding it softly, thickly, through the gentle meat of your cheek or neck or wrist...well, perhaps one of those movements will result in some sweet delirious blackness that will take away the problems of bills or women or drinking or traffic. lemme tell you this- you're going to be reborn as the same fucking person. it's all circles, man. it's all spirals. things explode outwards. the universe blew apart, i shoot my load into some chick's cunt, a baby is born. nothing changes, man. nothing changes at all.

pissing on a feline

2012-01-05T17:38:00.000-08:00

i love the way you look when at night you're pissing your sheets. the moon is somewhat full outside and smiling at us like some strange face and you're urinating all over yourself in your drugged slumber and my dreams are of falling through water or some strange sludge underneath dead cities. i will be yours forever if you want me.

expiation

2012-01-05T16:35:00.000-08:00

small children taste sweetest, which is what i knew she was thinking, and i was too, and her feet went clickety clack on the tile floor, and i could see the soft swish of her skirt against her thigh. i was hard for her. i was always hard, but something about knowing her slick hole was up there, veiled behind some cheap underwear, just made it worse. harder. i felt like i could explode at any second. 'we need to find a kid quick,' i said, 'i have to piss.'

love

2012-01-05T14:55:00.000-08:00

in the busy-ness of each day we forget that god has created a series of tunnels, some of which lead through and out our asses into the beautiful sunshine of new days. the bliss of creation; the godhead; the worm of old; all these and many new and exciting things await as you ascend, as consciousness shifts, as golden rain falls from the sky, as if god is happily urinating down upon us. dance, children! dance in the holy piss of god!

if you ask

2012-01-05T14:23:00.000-08:00

so i wanted to know what it was like walking around like that. she didn't really know exactly what to say, other than that every step created this delicious friction that felt like a tongue gently flicking her clit. so with every movement, she was reminded of me between her legs. walking between designer shops was the best. she felt so upper class. she was buying these french import lingerie, unavailable in the united states, and as the clerk was running her amex, she was on the verge of a knee buckling orgasm. and then, lunch.

free puppy with every abortion

2012-01-05T13:57:00.000-08:00

yo melanie, my new band just released a single called 'jesus uses a bendy straw.' i was hoping you could make it to our showcase, this thursday at rockin sam's rock palace over on fortino. lemme know. hope you're good. ps. got any weed?

parents and children

2012-01-04T21:32:00.000-08:00

one day you will rape your youngest son with either words or a sharpened garden tool or the memory of his dead grandfather. in any case, he will resent you until the end of his days. when you die, he will imagine laughter as your body is lowered into the cold, rain soaked ground. on the other end of the cemetery, skaters will glide effortlessly over the frozen pond.

scary beds

2012-01-04T21:24:00.001-08:00

in the back rooms of the hotel- where no one has stayed for years- we hide the remains.

under the sheets

2012-01-04T19:37:00.000-08:00

we've deposited the bodies of many of our disagreeable guests underneath the floorboards of some of our more popular rooms in the 'spa wing.' we find it enjoyable to field complaints and always apologize to the complaining guests, saying 'sorry, we've been unable to find any cause for the odor.' during our corporate meetings, we all dissolve helplessly into laughter.

for dinner

2012-01-04T17:10:00.001-08:00

on the menu tonight we have leftover breakfast meat. we know you'll enjoy it because you are our loyal guests, and also because you are brainless fucks who eat whatever's thrown in front of you. eat shit, assholes. enjoy your stay.

cheese

2012-01-04T10:58:00.001-08:00

we leave cheese under each pillow, in the spirit of our late owner mr. n. chang-fuan. he was a special man who was caught masturbating with a twelve year old girl in the linen closet on the 17th floor. ownership of the hotel reverted to his wife, gloria. he passed away in prison of a heart attack while working in the laundry. we found this ironic.

i found my voice

2012-01-04T10:30:00.001-08:00

it was in my pants.
next to your hand.
grab on to it.

carry on

2012-01-04T10:29:00.001-08:00

leave your bags at the gate. some n* will get them and carry them up to your room. don't tip the n*. they will only spend it on crack and cheap wine. we are here to help you.

howdy, folks

2012-01-03T18:36:00.001-08:00

welcome to the fun park. this is where you get free blowjobs and ice cream sandwiches and small children are stolen from their parents for the nefarious designs of the park owners. we dislike you. enjoy your stay.

pilot

2011-12-26T13:46:00.000-08:00

the pilot of the small craft was nuts, he'd decided, but there wasn't much he could do about it while strapped into his first class bucket seat, headphones on, watching an edited version of 'friday the 13th.' private seats, private films, only the best champagne, and a stewardess who kept brushing her nice, firm thigh against his hand whenever she had the chance. he was hoping she'd leave a signal that he was welcome to join her in the VIP lounge for a little quickie, but so far it was just those maddeningly repetitive thigh-brushes, leaving his face and neck painted a flushed pink and his cock as hard as an iron pole in his $300 jeans. the plane was whipsawing back and forth in the high winds, and the pilot was taking them directly into the center of a purple thunderhead. suddenly his voice came over the intercom: "ladies and gentlemen, no need to panic, but things are going to get a bit rough here for the next few minutes. i'm turning on the 'fasten seatbelt' signs, and i'm hoping you've pissed out all that expensive champagne, as lavatory breaks are off limits for the next ten minutes or so. enjoy."

end of the year

2011-12-26T13:39:00.001-08:00

it's the end of the year
it's fucking essential
that right about now
i've gone fucking mental
in the finest way
i've lost my mind
i'd look for it
but
i haven't the time
so i'll drink and screw
and probably do
more things
that drive you
crazy
i'll dance and grin
i'd shoot myself
but i'm too fucking
lazy

dogs

2011-12-25T16:50:00.000-08:00

in the courtyard
there are dogs
some cows
some chickens
and some hogs
mother told me
'gather milk'
and you shall
be rewarded
however i can't
find my way
i feel god
has thwarted
all attempts

rape

2011-12-25T13:31:00.000-08:00

did you get raped again, missy, the man shouted at her, but she was running for the bus, running for the bus, and she didn't want it to get away because then she'd never see her mummy again, never ever again! christmas was today and the tree was waiting and what if she'd gotten a puppy like her mummy had promised only the bad man had come the bad man had come the bad man had come deep inside her and he had laughed when he unleashed himself his horrible black seed and she'd felt it crawling into her stomach it had burned when it touched her thighs and she was crying but she was laughing too because for fucking once in her stupid cunt life she felt alive.

the bus raced off, trailing exhaust. an old man in the dark alleyway to her right asked her if she had a quarter.

god?

2011-12-25T13:20:00.000-08:00

someone said it was my turn with god. 'it's your turn with god,' they said, whispering in my ear like smoke from some faraway fire, but when i turned no one was there. and i really wish i knew what they meant because to me god is an ocean or a tree or a frog licking poison from its distended stomach. if it's my turn with god, does that mean it's my turn to die? does that mean it's my turn to fall away from this human shape and disappear into dust like when grandmother slipped silently down the basement stairs, her neck cracking like twigs underfoot? does it mean everyone will forget what my skin smells like, or how i look when i smile? does it mean i will never be able to shout out my name to a nameless canyon ever again, if i go to see god? because if it means any of that, i don't ever want to see god. ever.

carp

2011-12-25T13:08:00.000-08:00

i don't know where they went, but i'm stuck here on this boat. i hate fishing, i have a cold, it's fucking freezing out here. i don't even like eating fish. why the fuck did i agree to come out here on this stupid lake? and then they jump overboard- or fall, i forget- leaving me alone. and the motor won't start. at least, i haven't tried to start it. and what's this? a fish in the pail? shit, i'll throw this thing back in the water and splash! there it goes. go find your momma, little fish! go find your kids! eat well. stay away from worms on hooks! it's getting late. i could use a drink.

captured?

2011-12-25T13:01:00.000-08:00

'dad,' i called out, 'you home? the monk's really getting hungry.' i wasn't sure why he'd kidnapped the poor guy- 'helping out' my dad called it- but he had been in our basement for three weeks now without food or water. my sister said dad had 'captured' the monk, as though it were some creature rooting through our trash cans, but i'd seen the marks on the monk's head, as though he'd been the victim of a scuffle. now, three weeks was not necessarily a long time for a monk to go without sustenance. i'd not ventured far from the back woods of ohio, but i saw on the television that monks were supposedly able to go without food and water for a very long time. sex, too. that really blew my mind. if i didn't get to fuck susie in the back of her car at least three times a week i went nuts. she did too.

the skate

2011-12-24T16:20:00.000-08:00

down the hill there was angela, and she was waiting for him, but he would have to skate the treacherous terrain, and he'd never been able to do it. he always tumbled off, either scratching, bruising or breaking parts of himself that he cared about. and he knew that if he didn't make it to angela in one piece, she would look at him with vast and withering contempt, most likely running off to danny's house to get high and show him her underwear. this was the only chance he might get. he had to make it work.

endless monsters

2011-12-24T15:51:00.000-08:00

jacky didn't believe in monsters, but he did believe in his uncle ray. his uncle ray was fat and smelled like spoiled meat. his uncle ray always managed to charm jacky's mother into letting him stay just a little later than seemed necessary. his uncle ray always happened to drink far too much wine at dinner but seemed sober. his uncle ray always wanted to tuck him in. his uncle ray had a false face. his uncle ray had sallow skin and unshaved cheeks and bloodshot eyes.

penguin

2011-12-24T15:45:00.000-08:00

sam the penguin ambled along the reef. he was very far from home, and though he could handle warm climates for a short period of time, it didn't mean he wanted to. he missed his wife cherise. he missed the frigid arctic ponds. he missed the howling winds blowing his short body hair. he'd heard of the great barrier reef and, to be fair, it was quite beautiful, but he felt lost and alone. he wished he'd not listened to that cackling seal, the one who always seemed to get the best of him with his pranks.

fisted

2011-12-24T15:09:00.000-08:00

she'd not sat well for three days after cornelius had suggest she allow him to anally fist her during their sexual exploits. she was concerned, naturally, as to whether the bleeding would stop. she'd gone through her emergency supply of feminine napkins. her cats were upset and ran about the apartment howling at phantoms. she hobbled from room to room, humilated, hating him.

chicken cooking

2011-12-24T15:06:00.000-08:00

he left the chicken in the pot, and his family had suffered because of it. many a long night had passed while sheryl and the girls sat up, sleepless, thinking of what calvin had said to them before he departed: "keep the chicken cooking," he'd said solemnly. "no matter what happens, keep the chicken cooking." and so he had disappeared into the thorny night, and rats and weasels and all manner of ill tempered creatures had attempted entry into their small, windblown hovel. the girls were growing ill, and soon it would be six months since they'd seen him.

holes

2011-12-23T20:07:00.001-08:00

too many
to count
i fell over
boggled

your sweet vaginal canal

2011-12-23T14:54:00.001-08:00

she smells of truth
leading to valleys
unknown by most men
leading to sweet homes
inhabited by tiny creatures
most of whom
love swimming

do you think i'm ugly

2011-12-23T14:26:00.001-08:00

because i know you do,
he said.
your pussy smells of trash bins.
what, she shouted,
you can't mean that.
i will put this knife in your anal cavity.
do it, he said,
what could hurt worse than
financial ruin.

monk

2011-12-23T14:23:00.001-08:00

dad
the monk you captured
is getting
hungry

bring it

2011-12-23T14:20:00.001-08:00

your pussy smells
you haven't washed her in
weeks
since you got her, in fact
though it's well known
kittens are hard
to wash

negress

2011-12-23T12:54:00.001-08:00

she had the milkiest chocolat skin he'd ever seen
and he wanted to skin her alive
and use it for a coat