odd thoughts on moving out

seeing these empty cabinets, empty closets, empty shelves...it's not unusual. it's like no one's really lived in this place for years. it's like there wasn't any love, any relationship, any home. it's good to get out. it's good to start over.

it's good to be in love again.

...to be continued...

i'm god

i'm god
that's not hubris
it's a fact
i made you
i can delete you
i can erase you
i can hurt you
i can kill you
i can envelope you
and eat you
and taste you every night
from a million miles
away

last the night

stay with me, now
my heart may not last
the night
i may look at you
and see someone else
but please know
i love you

i may remember different nights
when we laugh
and cry
or fuck
(sorry, "make love")

but i'm doing it with you
so take pleasure in that

i'm not bitter
i'm not angry
but i'm different
and new
and alone

and i'm ok with that.

winter wine

it isn't meant for july here...
it isn't supposed to be this time
of year
where do you go
when you run from those fears
why do you choose to drown

why do you drink yourself
stupid
why do you shut down your voice
why do you run from your soul's gift
when you have so much to give

i'm waiting for you.

new bag

she had a new bag.

that's when i knew it was really over.

she had a navy blue purse
with zippers all over it,
looking like crazy smiles,
clutched in her hand.

we moved the rest of her stuff out
in the heat,
remarking on how glad we were for air conditioning.
the talk was cordial, pointless,
until we got to the paperwork.

when she left i wasn't sure
whether to kiss her
or shake her hand.
she was foreign,
far removed from my world.

i realized the only person
i was running from
was myself.

i was tired of the chase.
i'd never catch up.
the race was over.
i won.

here's what i think

you may not want to know about this, but: i think cats save their shit until we've cleaned the box. then they march inside, happy and proud of themselves, and unload what they've kept inside for the last few hours, so they can watch us perform the entire routine all over again. i think this pleases them.

bullfrog

swamp time
bullfrogs sing their
distorted songs
beauty is distorted
but only enough
to fuck us over